More Mindful Internet NOW - A Cohost Eulogy

Posted On 9/27/24

This post can also be found on Dreamwidth, which is also where any comments, if you have them, can go!

Everyone's writing a eulogy for Cohost, so I figure writing my own might be a good way to both pay my respects and kick off my new web journey. I won't be focusing on problems Cohost had here, mainly because I wasn't particularly active during a lot of it, and partly because other people have done the topic more justice than I ever could. I'd recommend reading both Alyaza's Cohost Eulogy as well as their post on Racism on Cohost for more on that.

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From the very moment I found out about Cohost's existence, I valued the philosophy behind it.

With Twitter going downhill fast, and the future of Tumblr always being somewhat uncertain as an Unprofitable Website™, plenty of alternatives have been proposed or popped up over the years, but none caught my interest quite the same as Cohost did, nor did they make me as genuinely excited.

It was nice to be able to exist on the modern internet somewhere for a while without being seen as just a dollar sign, and to be able to use a product founded on values that aligned with my own, where I didn't have to worry about what was done with my data, how workers were being treated, where there was actual interest in the wellbeing of the users that flocked to it.

There is one thing in particular I'm eternally grateful to Cohost for, and that's the strong stance that's been maintained against dark patterns, such as the lack of infinite scrolling & the choice to leave numbers out of the experience. The lack of notes in particular has been at least moderately controversial. It was seemingly one of the top complaints I saw over and over again from outsiders uncertain about the site. I was in the camp that there could have been some improvements when it came to keeping track of shared posts with additions, but overall it was a choice I wish other alternatives would adopt, as I believe it to be significantly better for mental health and creativity. I know it was for mine.

These decisions encouraged me to be more mindful when I used Cohost, and I recall that being a sentiment I saw often among the large wave I joined with.

My main social media sites for the longest time have been Tumblr & Twitter. Tumblr has managed to stick around, even with all its flaws, for good reason—I can't be too harsh on a site that's been my internet home since I was 14, and I've met a lot of lovely people on there over the years, as well as some of my favorite artists. With the death of Cohost, I'd say it's likely still one of the better social media options out there, as unfortunate as that might be. My relationship with Twitter is, well, more strained than that. I obviously use the site but these days it's mainly because people I like keeping up with on there haven't moved yet. I do however like microblogging and had plenty of fun on there over the years, keeping to my circle and using Tweetdeck.

But Twitter, even at it's best and before Elon let it deteriorate into a far-right pile of sludge, is so fast-paced and overstimulating. Tumblr is significantly less so, but for most of the years I've been on the site I followed way too many people, which resulted in a faster-moving dash and often losing track of who I was following, what they were up to, etc. Even with a new blog now, and a much smaller and curated following list, the infinite scrolling remains a problem for a brain that loves distraction, and there's a distinct lack of intimacy compared to what I got used to on Cohost; Not only is it easier to feel lonely on larger sites, but it seems like there's actually very few people I follow that share much more other than the occasional few paragraphs about their lives, if even that. More often, it's a sentence or two.

Cohost was a nice change of pace. Despite the lack of profile customization, you could often learn so much from viewing someone's page. People shared the work of others, but they often didn't shy away from sharing their own as well, or just loudly existing as themselves. As Alyaza put it in the eulogy linked above:

more than anything: i will miss the one-stop-shop nature of Cohost, where it seemed like you could read about anything someone wanted to put their time toward on any given day.

Maybe the intimacy factor would have changed had the site been able to keep growing. To some degree, I don't think so, because I believe the philosophy the site was founded on meant most of the people that gravitated towards it and stayed were other folk that believed in the mission, that were somewhat fed up with modern social media, who tended to like to read and make longer posts, and really wanted to *connect* with the people they were following. I cared about how everyone I followed was doing. I cared about what adventures they might be on, what insights they recently had, what their current obsessions consisted of, I wasn't just sticking around for whatever it is they may be re-sharing.

I feel the lack of visible notes and numbers likewise encouraged users to truly make it their own corner of the web, with little regard for other's opinions. Some people would say they want numbers because how else are they supposed to know whether people like their work or not? To me, that's exactly why I say good riddance. If you could get over the initial insecurity of not knowing, or lacking the constant stream of validation you've learned to expect from other social media, there was a chance to reconnect yourself with whatever you were sharing and *why* exactly you wanted to share it in the first place, because I'm sure most of us didn't take on creative endeavors simply because we wanted attention. Cohost uplifted me as a creative by reminding me of that, getting my mind off the numbers, and helping me realize again what truly mattered to me in my work.

The lack of a perceived popularity contest helped as well. There were users you could tell were more popular when you saw their posts around everywhere, sure, but I feel like the lack of notes destroyed the type barrier you'd have interacting with these people on any other social media site, and I know I never felt nervous sharing with an addition like I would on say, Tumblr, where it's seen as a faux pas to comment on a stranger's post, sometimes even when it's in the spirit of that post. Likewise, the lack of notes also meant less popular users or posts were treated more equally and given a chance, getting around the phenomenon on social media where a low amount of shares or likes might mean someone doesn't give you the time of day.

All of this I feel helped create an environment where people felt more comfortable being authentic, just themselves on the site. I know I felt like I could be myself on Cohost, though I also know that's unfortunately not an experience everyone got to have to the same extent, and I hope any future sites that try to take Cohost's place learn from its mistakes.

I didn't use Cohost as much as I would have liked to, but I enjoyed what time I did spend on there, and using the site has made me really think about what I want from any future social media I use, as well as how I use the internet in general. I want to be as mindful as possible, approaching everything with great intention. I want less overwhelming amounts of information, more true connection with the people I follow or watch. I want to be aware of world events, but without being caught up in an endless barrage of horrible news that leaves me feeling powerless. I want to do my best to cut out or limit the extent to which modern web design tries to fuck with my brain. I'm hoping setting up an RSS feed, maintaining my site—my own little corner just like Cohost was—and giving Dreamwidth a go is a good start, and that maybe I can eventually replace what I'm used to using with things that have a more positive impact on me. Or, at least, limit my usage to a point where it's significantly more healthy.

A final thing I'm grateful to Cohost for: I've seriously considered making my own website for two and a half years, though learning everything I needed to felt a bit daunting until now. I never meant to fall out of it so easily whenever I'd try to pick it up, but it happened all the same. Cohost got me more interested in HTML & CSS than ever before from the beginning. I think it would be hard not to have your interest slightly piqued upon seeing everyone's CSS crimes—from the more lightly coded button press jokes, to full-on recreations of memes, to intricate, interactive games like @blackle's famous puzzle box.

Aside from inspiration at every corner, a lot of the earlier users I followed having an interest in coding or doing it for a living certainly helped make it feel more possible for me to learn. I absorbed a lot of information whenever they'd talk about it or share code snippets. While initially something that irked me about Cohost, it turned out the lack of formatting tools not only forced me to slow down when I used the site, but helped the basic HTML (and rare CSS) I was forced to use repeatedly soak in. All of this helped lead to my website today. While using a template since I was in a rush, there were still quite a bit of changes I made to get it functioning and looking more like how I wanted it to, and I really feel like I have my time on Cohost and what I learned hanging around on there to thank for that.

I mean, hell, here we are at the end. Two and a half years I thought about it only for Cohost to give me that one last push. As much as I wish it were under different circumstances, I'll be forever thankful for my Fourth Website, for both inspiring this step and nurturing my creativity as a whole, and encouraging in me a more mindful approach to the modern web.